A couple weeks ago, I was watching an online chapel message by a professor from Biola University. She was talking about identity in Christ. Throughout the talk she had the students in the audience write out three things on note cards about what they find identity in. This could be a hobby, quality, goal, career choice, position, etc. She also had them write on the fourth card their identity in Christ as His daughter/son.
In my head, all I could think of was my identity in missions.
Ever since I became involved in service and missions, it's been my biggest passion and something that I express my faith through. It brings me joy and purpose, and humility that the Lord could use even an imperfect sinner like me to serve Him. However, I do see evidence in my life of making this somewhat of an idol and something that defines me over how God defines me.
Towards the end of the message, the professor asked the students in the audience to rip up their three cards that shaped their identity. She asked them to imagine their lives without those things, without those qualities, without those dreams. As I began to imagine my life without missions, I came to the realization that it's not something I would ever want to give up. I think that I've come to a place in my heart where I feel like I know that the Lord is calling my to become a missionary. I feel that if I weren't a missionary, how could He use me? But, I realize this is not the mentality that He calls me to have.
He wants us to trust in Him, because His will for our lives transcends ours.
The Lord wants us to have goals for the future, but it's so important for us to remember to put His will first and surrender those dreams to Him, for His glory and not our own.
In this season, my Father is showing me each day that my life is not my own, but I belong to Him. (crazy!! Christ lives in and through our lives!)
'However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.' Acts 20:24
I know that my selfish desires and stubbornness to only become a missionary and nothing else is not what God wants for me. It's hard for me to be open to another calling He might have for me, but...
He calls us, as His children to follow Him. Wholeheartedly, follow Him. He doesn't call us to make our own plans and hope He's on board with them. He doesn't call us to claim to be following His calling but not pray and go to Him before making decisions. No, He calls us to surrender our lives to His will, whatever that may look like.
And hey, 100% of the time, His will is way better than anything we could have ever imagined!
So Lord, I surrender. I surrender my hopes and dreams and plans. I surrender my future to Your cause, not for my glory, but for Yours. You alone know the plans you have for me. You are the potter, I am the clay. I am nothing without You.
I refuse to let Satan justify my passion for missions as prior to my identity in Christ. If God leads me away from missions, I will follow with an open heart, reassured that He is in control, not me. What a relief to rest in His love and care for us!
He is faithful!